A Letter to the Hebdon's Future Birth Mom(s) from Ashlea - Turner's Birth Mom

We have an open adoption with our son's Birth Mother. We love and respect her and are so grateful to have her as part of our "extended family." We want this for our son because we know that it helps him to know who he is and where he comes from. Before we were placed with him we read and studied as much as we could so that we would know how to best help our children learn and understand adoption. We want them to know that they were placed because they were loved and that their birth mom (and her family) wanted what was best for them!

We feel like honest communication between all parties is the key to having a healthy relationship. There does have to be boundaries and there are times where one party may be inconvenienced to make sure that a visit or phone call or picture happens, but it all works out because it is for the best interest of our children.  We hope that we have a great relationship with our future birth mother(s) too.

Ashlea wrote a letter to our future birth mom and we would like to share that here in hopes that it provides some assurance her:

Ashlea and Turner

My experience with Megan and Brandon has been nothing but positive. I found out I was

pregnant with Turner when I was 18 and luckily my family was very supportive of my choice

to place him for adoption. I then met Megan and Brandon through LDS adoption services

and I had certain criteria that I wanted the parents to meet in order to place this baby and

they met it all. But besides that when I first met Megan and Brandon face to face I

automatically knew I wanted them to be the parents of this child. There was something

there that I couldn’t explain and a calm feeling came over me and I knew they were the

ones. I didn’t look at any other families and I’m glad I didn’t.

Megan and Brandon have this chemistry with one another and I wanted my child to have

them as role models. I didn’t grow up with a father so I paid more attention to Brandon at

first when I was deciding. He absolutely loves Megan; he is a hard worker (which helped in

this dynamic because Megan can stay home with Turner & he is literally a little genius at 3

years old). Also Brandon is so dedicated to her and now Turner, and I wouldn’t want Turner

to grow up like anyone else.  Megan is just as great, sweet and caring and has that instinct

to be a fabulous mother. –In which she is and it started as soon as she held Turner.

I swear to you I feel like I had this baby for them. They cherish and love him more than

anything. During my pregnancy they were with me every step of the way, we had great

communication and we still do. They were open to my ideas and wants as well. We have a

very open and honest communication; we have set boundaries with one another and it

works. They respect me as the birth mother and I respect them as his parents. And I trust

them as his parents as well. There is nothing negative I could say about either of them.

They were meant to be parents and that is obvious when you are around them.

I literally love them so much I can’t even express it into words, they are amazing parents to

Turner and any baby would be a great addition to their wonderful family and they deserve

this more than anyone. They have had their fair shares of disappoints with adoption but

Turner was their new hope. Besides them being excited for a new addition, so is Turner,

and if he doesn’t seem to convince you I don’t know what else would. He loves Megan and

Brandon, they are good to him and they would be good to any other child as well. They are

loving, kind, accepting, happy and just overall outstanding parents.

Sincerely, 

Ashlea